Or…Why Kat’s Cafe & Kat Succumbed to Being a Special Needs Mommy
I’ve posted about this before, but you know, I think even *I* forget it sometimes, this thing called being a special needs parent and what it means in our lives. It’s not a glamorous life. In fact, being a special needs parent is more like: YWF7MPZSVUCK
- A war zone – especially when each kid is having their own version of a *no good horrible day*
- A daily choose-you-own adventure – do I stay consistent and send them to a time out for hitting, prepare to listen to 10 minutes of screaming and throwing, and a child who still has no idea what he’s done wrong, and another hour of mood swinging from angry at mom to annoyed at mom to cuddly at mom?
- A TV medical drama in disguise – complete with exciting, horrifying seizures and colorful lack of oxygen blueness (no, not the smurf-like blue of fun and flowers but the grayish-blue of brain cells dying … just sayin’)
- Daily question and answer sessions – sometimes the same question, sometimes not, but always asked without regard to whether one already knows the answer, and always in rapid success … *groans* (Seriously, have you ever tried to answer 20-30 questions in rapid succession, only for the kid to have a loop and repeat function set in their brain so that they do it all over again 20 minutes later?)
- I could keep listing … but I think I’ll stop here and let you add some fun in the comments (Why, yes! That was a *hint*!)
So apologies … not for, you know, being a mom, but because I let some of my writing slack and didn’t post to the Cafe last week. Read on to learn more about what happened and how you can help.
Why being a special needs mom sometimes sucks
My son, Logan, has had multiple issues over the last couple weeks, after being seizure free most of the summer he ended up breaking his seizure-hiatus by having a small cluster of them at school. He ended up having a few others here at home over the course of the following week. The lovely non-breathing variety.
In honor of the occasion (sarcasm, I love thee) my first posting to the new section of the Cafe, our Writing Corner, was my well-received “In The Silence,” which was a non-fiction literary mosaic about Logan, his seizures, and some thread. While not everyone understood the irony, I had a quiet giggle over my choice. What? I never claimed to be sane.
What you can do–regarding my sweet Logan and his seizures?
Not a thing. Unless you have an amazing scientific breakthrough (then, um, send me a message! Seriously!) But you could support us a little by offering thoughts and prayers for my little guy and for our family.
Also, my dear friend Caryn Haskula, over at Living with Logan, posted a sweet challenge last week to help give me a bit of extra support and love from my online friends. I would love to see some of you go see her and tell her thanks by exploring her blog! (she’s another Logan mommy – we gotta stick together!) Caryn also mentioned something I have been neglecting to talk with you guys about here. Me.
What about me? How Fibromyalgia has become my own special needs ‘need’
I don’t talk about it often, because to me it isn’t that important. But that does a disservice to you guys. Because part of being a special needs parent, I think, is making sure we take care of ourselves, that we acknowledge our needs. I’m kinda horrible at doing that. So why would I share anything with you guys when it proves that point. *grin*
But the fact of it is that I do have Fibromyalgia, and at times it gets quite severe. My flares (when my symptoms worsen) generally send me to bed for several small naps a day, so that I can still try to get work down in between. My husband is wonderful at helping me with this, and we have our own dance of sorts, as he helps me with my Fibro while I try to help him with all his health problems. We’re a ying/yang couple in a big way because of this.
But having Fibro also means that when the kids many problems sometimes lead to higher degrees of stress my flares get worse, so I’m in more pain and more fatigued as a result. I usually combat this with a healthy (read: copious) amount of caffeine, naps whenever possible, and a great little thing I call denial. It doesn’t always work so well. But I do tend to get my work done.
Then I hit a wall with my symptoms earlier this week and it was all I could do to stay on top of my paying work (I did mention I’m a freelance writer, editor, and assistant? Just a little plug!) after dealing with Logan’s continued issues. It seems I’m only human after all.
Some special needs fun and support for me and you!
One way of making sure we take time for ourselves is to find creative ways to express our emotions. That’s why the Writing Corner was born, and why I would be honored to have you join me in this special section of the site. You could reply to a few polls I’ve posted on the Cafe Facebook Page, and you could also submit something expressive of your own to the Writing Corner. To find out more, read the intro post to the Corner.
Being a special needs parent is difficult, but you can help yourself and others by finding ways to express those emotions, and by staying true to your own purpose and passions in life–what have you done to express yourself today?