When Real Life Comes Before Blogging, or … Seizures Suck

A Rough Seizure Weekend Makes Writing & Blogging Harder to do

Ultimate Blog Challenge banner - Calling Special Needs bloggers to join Me! I had great plans this past weekend. I had actual work to do. I had blogging to do. A blogging challenge to start. An App party to enjoy. A grandmother to visit.

And then Logan had a rough seizure patch this weekend and all my work, and blogging, and writing, and fun plans all went out the window. I found it hard, depressing even, as I struggled to get back into the swing of writing yesterday afternoon (we canceled plans with my grandmother because we were concerned about Logan having further seizures).

Normally, parenting is a hit or miss kind of game anyway. You make plans and assume you can follow through on those plans because you and your child will be able to follow through on them. When you have a special needs child, though, their needs supersede most plans you make.

  • You can’t go to your grandmother’s house because you need both parents at home in case your youngest, who is having seizures, might need to go to the ER.
  • Your online work deadlines are filled with a bump here and a bump there because you had to be mom first and writer/editor second.
  • Your blog has days and sometimes weeks at a time without a new post.
  • You always consider new outings first in terms of seizure risk and not in terms of enjoyment.
  • Family vacations are put on hold.
  • Family reunions are put on hold.

So, if sometimes I am a little bitter about it, there’s a reason for that.

Life Summed Up, blogging and otherwise

Credit: http://themetapicture.com/life-summed-up/

An amazing truth – Blogging is not the most important thing in my life

Neither is writing, and editing, or work, even, though it is nice to be able to pay the bills from time to time. So, rather than be bitter, rather than dwell on the weekend of work and blogging lost to me, I’ve decided it is far past time to come up with techniques for dealing with this.

I will always have children with special needs. But I am more than a wife and mother. I am also a writer, a blogger, an editor and assistant. So I also have responsibilities.

What to do? Does work and blogging still take a back seat?

Sometimes. My kids and their lives are my testimony when I grow old, not how much money I made or how many posts I was able to write a month on a blog in the middle of the world wide web. :-)

But I have already taken steps to make that reality exist more peacefully with my need to, oh I don’t know, feed my family … find self-fulfillment … those lovely things that come from doing things other than being a wife and parent.
I joined the lovely blog challenge, the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Though I actually joined last week, the idea was the same: I wanted to bring some accountability to my blogging. Why? Writing is something I have always done for others. Blogging is something I do first for me, and then for others.

It makes me happy to write about things that might help other people, but more than that, it is a necessity, as a mom, as a special needs parent. I need to have something that is my own, that defines me and helps me. Something that challenges me beyond work I am paid to do for others.

I’m also striving to work ahead on my deadlines for other work commitments. I’m setting deadlines to give myself flexibility in case life throws me a curveball. And I am living my life without apology.

Being a wife and mother will always be more important than any words I might write, pictures I might share, social updates I might post … but being able to do those things will make me a better wife and mother, because I’ll be doing something for myself. Something to improve myself.

Being a blogger might not change the world, but it will change my world, one post at a time.

What challenges do you find yourself having to overcome as a blogger? As a mom?

What tips help you be a more productive blogger?

Are you a special needs blogger? May I challenge you to quickly hop over and consider joining the Ultimate Blogging Challenge with me? Or make the commitment and comment below. Let’s help each other keep blogging real!

Katrina Moody

Katrina Moody

Graphic Designer, Wordpress Addict, Blogger at Kat's Media & More
I'm a special needs parent before just about everything else in life, but also a passionate advocate for my three boys and husband, who all have a bit of awesomeness about them. Awesomeness = Axenfeld-Rieger Syndrome, Autism, Epilepsy, Dyslexia, Cerebral Palsy, and more. It all adds up to some awesome kids and an amazing family.
Katrina Moody
Katrina Moody
  • http://jbmthinks.com jbmthinks/sportsparenting

    Katrina, you are amazing! I admire your strength and determination. BTW, I notice you add “you may also like” and list several blog posts at the end of your post. Do you do that for every post and do you do it manually or is it a plug-in?

    • Katrina

      Thanks Janis. I really appreciate your comments, even if I don’t feel all that strong or determined sometimes. LOL

      That plugin is the NRelate related content plugin, available at their site: http://nrelate.com/ … I did a bit of research before using this one and found a high number of users who recommended it. This one is customizable, another reason I really like it!

  • http://www.aMomKnowsBest.com Allison (aMomKnowsBest)

    Love you Kat. I’m so sorry about the weekend, my friend. I know how difficult and frustrating –and scary–it can be when those seizures creep up. I wish I could take your pain away…or, at least, come watch the kids for a night so you could get some well-deserved time to yourself. Sending you lots of hugs!

    • Katrina

      Ah, Allison … thanks for stopping by! *hugs* You’ve been such a sweetie as we’ve dealt with the highs and lows of Logan’s seizures over the last several months. How sweet you are! I’ll take those hugs and appreciate them greatly my friend.

  • http://oddmusings-melinda.blogspot.com/ Melinda

    Kat,
    Thanks for such an honest post. I love your priorities. I am a special needs professional — with a son who would probably be on an IEP if he were in school (I homeschool). But my son does not need the level of care and attention that yours does. Sometimes, we teachers and advocates need reminders about how much parents are juggling, so that when we see someone hasn’t met a deadline or has left a stack of paperwork on the back burner we can remember it’s probably because things are just hard right now.

    Melinda

    • Katrina

      Melinda, I appreciate your comment and your commitment to your son! I love that he blogs with you! I actually considered seeing if my older two guys wouldn’t’ mind having a corner of my blog to call home. :-) Who knows what brilliance they’d share with the world. :-) We did consider homeschooling at one point, but it just isn’t as feasible unfortunately. I have recently heard about a program I can do with my guys, here at home, that might help them at school, and I’ll be posting on that when we officially start it next week. *wink*

      I think it is very easy to overlook the load another person is carrying, simply because that is what we do as humans. We each have a story to tell, and our burdens and blessings to share. Our lives are as complex as there are stars in the sky. Advocates and educators should be aware of that, but they are human too. :-) This humanity thing is catching, you see, and we’re all plagued with it.

  • http://edgardanmerblog.wordpress.com Edgar Danmer

    Your story is amazing! I love the way your post is structured as question and answer. Its funny, even though I am a social media marketing coach, what I enjoy most in my work is researching social media marketing technologies and then passing on the information onto others. My wife and daughter are the secret to my success. I have become more as human being through having their presence in my life. I know that clients come to me and what to know how to make more money, but the truth is have a meaningful purpose and be authentic. That’s it. I love my wife and daughter and I do my work so that we can have a comfortable lifestyle, they inspire me to do more and achieve more. So I found your post really touching and felt that it really resonated with me. I blog because I have something within me that wants to share. I do not know if it is because I am a Leo, but if I could not share or give to others, I think I would cease to exist. So thank you for reminding me about the truth of life.

    • Katrina

      Edgar, thanks so much for your comments. I like to structure my posts as if I were talking with someone else. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t :-)

      I’m with you, no matter what I do, I enjoy passing information on to others more than just about anything else! My family is my inspiration and reason to work and blog all in one! I’m glad that you felt it spoke to you. I’m sometimes hesitant to show just how human I am in this world where perfection rules. But I think reality is important, and folks need to understand reality as well as how to strive to rise above it.

      Thanks so much for commenting, and I really hope to see you back again soon, Edgar. I see your newest post is about a favorite topic of mine – how NOT to make it all about yourself in social media …?

  • http://theblogthatfaithbuilt.blogspot.com/ Dena Hamilton

    Praying for you, my dear friend! It is very hard trying to be everything to everyone. You HAVE to eke out a little something that is all yours to preserve your sanity so you can keep on keepin’ on. And, yes, seizures suck! When my daughter was in her teens she did not have many, but they were always hard for me to go through with her. Especially since she had already had 2 strokes and I was on high alert for signs of another one! Stay blessed and never apologize for having the right priorities!

    • Katrina

      Thanks so much Dena – as always I sooo appreciate your prayers! Teehee – I have to admit to a certain little thrill for saying that “seizures suck” and getting others to say it too. I mean, they do and that isn’t the issue – but usually folks aren’t trying to just state it plainly :-D Hehe!

      That had to be so scary for you when your daughter had already had the strokes, to then look at each seizure as being possibly even more than a seizure. *hugs* I am blessed, because I have friends like you, and like so many others who have commented. I am blessed because I have my husband and my children. I am blessed for so much. :-) I might feel badly about having trouble keeping to a schedule, but not for putting my family first. *hugs* again!

  • http://www.myvickiliciouslife.com Vicki

    Just realized I only commented on the #blogboost facebook page and not here! I am a new follower and I love your blog! :)

    • Katrina

      Aw thanks so much Vicki – I loved yours as well, so we can have a mutual love-fest! LOL

  • http://spilledmilkshake.com Christina

    I really appreciate the honesty in this post. It shows the human side of you, the part that needs to take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. It is so easy to say that our own needs take the backseat to taking care of our family – but it’s just not realistic.

    • Katrina

      See my late replies. :-) I am so glad you visited my site Christina! I adored yours and remember the post I just read there the other day about your own health issues. I have learned the hard way that we take care of ourselves or we lose the ability to take care of our families. As you know all too well, sometimes you just do the best you can and try to meet your own needs as you can … and life kind of enjoys throwing it in your face that it isn’t good enough. *hugs* to you my new friend. It isn’t easy to take care of ourselves, but so very important for so many reasons. I’ll be back to visit your site again soon and hope to find you are feeling better!

  • http://www.richlifeadvisors.com Beau Henderson

    I really enjoyed reading this article. When I used to work with special needs children, I was always in awe of the parents, and how they advocated, sacrificed and fought to learn the best way to care for their kids. Your experiences will go a long way to encourage and support other parents in the same situation. When you feel overwhelmed, breathe and write because its not only your job but its a way to reach out and provide healing internally and externally. Keep up the good work, Thanks for sharing.

  • http://www.thesocialbizbuzz.com/ Rod Arnold

    Katrina,
    Once again you have blessed the rest of us with a glimpse into your life. You write from the heart and that’s what makes your blog so good. I am fortunate to have 3 kids without special needs, but there has always been a place in my heart for kids that do. You are a true champion for kids of special needs, a great mom, and a good person. Family first, and then the rest.

  • http://normadoiron.net Norma Doiron

    Katrina… such a great article from the heart. I can’t even begin to comprehend your life with special needs children. I am in awe of all you do, girlfriend! YOU are living a life of purpose, never let anyone tell you otherwise. x0x
    Norma Doiron @ The LEARNED Preneur ╰☆╮

  • http://SusanCanHelpMe.com Susan Preston

    I love your Authenticity, Katrina! You are a true inspiration to so many people. You are truly Amazing…you are truly a giver {even when you may feel at times, that you don’t have any more to give…you still do} ;) Thank you, for being You!!!

  • http://manifestyournextmate.com/ Kelly

    Fortunately I don’t have a special needs child, but my honey and i started our business when my daughter was 8. She used to have to sleep on the back couch while we worked all night. then I would drive to our house where she would change and get ready for school. I’d drop her off and go back to work. – So I can relate to not having a conventional life and all of the sacrifices a mom makes to try and raise her children the est way she can. You are doing an excellent job Katrina!

  • http://Www.randomthoughtsfrommidlife.com Christine Grote

    I’m glad you recognize you have needs and are making every effort to satisfy them. Although I don’t have a special needs child, I grew up with a severely disabled sister. We were both born in the 50′s and the same kind of awareness and support just weren’t there.

    Even so, when my sister Annie died at the age of 51 two years ago, I wrote a memoir about her as a kind of legacy for her. Some of what my parents’ experienced all those years ago, you’re still writing about today. Some things never change. The special club you belong to has members who span the ages.

    • Katrina

      It’s so amazing to me to think that our lives are so similar and yet different when you have shared experiences like this. I have a cousin who is older than I am, and have had many chats with my late aunt and my uncle about life growing up before awareness was the “thing” and accepted. I’ve always felt that some things change you, mold you, and turn you into the person you were meant to be – all of our life experiences work together to help us continue to grow throughout the challenges and joys of our lives. *hugs* I might have to try and read that memoir (or one like it) one day.

  • http://www.robertssister.com Trish

    Hi, Katrina, I’m a new follower on Twitter and decided to check out your blog. I’ve only read a couple of posts but already have admiration for you! You are writing honestly and from your heart and obviously have so much love! My kids are grown but I now take care of my younger disabled brother who has had epilepsy and uncontrolled seizures his entire life. I can certainly relate to having to change plans because of seizures (or hospital visits). Looking forward to reading more.

    Trish
    http://www.robertssister.com
    caregiving. family. advocacy.

  • http://www.illusionofsanity.wordpress.com Kim (Illusion of Sanity)

    I’m a new reader here, and I have to say, you are an wonderful writer AND and an amazing mom. I have had seizures since I was 15, so I have never had to put myself in the shoes of a parent seeing their child suffer seizures. You writing about this helps bring awareness to seizures and seizure disorders, and the challenges of special needs kids. Thank you!

    • http://katscafe.org Katrina

      Aw, Kim, thanks so much (and sorry for the delay in responding). I think, sometimes, when you have diagnoses or you have children with them, you spend so long telling everyone that you are doing ‘fine’ that you tend to forget that your public face isn’t always your real face. Because we do crack sometimes, and the pressure is amazing sometimes,and seizures do suck, well, all the time *grin* but beyond all that there is still hope that tomorrow will be better.

  • Eleanor Hebert

    I am a special needs professional — with a son who would probably be on an IEP if he were in school (I homeschool). I do not know if it is because I am a Leo, but if I could not share or give to others, I think I would cease to exist. I think, sometimes, when you have diagnoses or you have children with them, you spend so long telling everyone that you are doing ‘fine’ that you tend to forget that your public face isn’t always your real face. See my late replies.

  • http://wrestlingdvdcovers.com/26/wwe-bobby-heenan-dvd-full-cover-download/ Gregory R. Despain

    You know what your talking about, I think I’ll come back this site for sure!