Why I Love my Husband

This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour, and I am celebrating marriage along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!

why-I-love-him

I Remember when I Fell in Love with my Husband

One of my favorite memories of my husband and I together falls before we were married, back in the early days of dating as we were beginning to get to know each other.

One night we settled against  against the hood of the Mercury Monarch Jim was so proud of, and we spent hours talking. We noticed the stars, kind of. We blushed and we stammered and we grew to love one another over stumbling words and half-hidden glances at one another.

And somehow, over the years, we’ve been able to continue loving one another, even growing in maturity and love for one another.

Back before we were dealing with therapies and appointments and the pure craziness that came with three boys with awesomeness, we grew to love one another because we learned about each other. And we worked at it. When I was away at IU; when I was dealing with the fallout from family issues; when I needed someone who could look at me and say I was beautiful for ME, and that I was loved … Jim was there.

But that’s not why I love him.

Love Takes Time

Over the years, as we have struggled to remember that love amidst the stress of raising three kids with awesomeness, we both sometimes forgot that time of learning to love. We forgot how hard it was to fall in love. And we treated our marriage as if it were a secondary entity in this overwhelming family.

We still do that sometimes.

And yet we always come around the corner and tiptoe around and up to one another, we always come face-to-face, and we always remember that we’re a team. It’s us against the world. Us. We. Him and I. We come together, and we work better together.

That’s still not why I love him.

Love Grows Through Adversity

The truth is, it’s not all easy. Sometimes we fight. Sometimes we struggle. Sometimes we hurt.

That’s the nature of a relationship, and it’s easy to forget that when divorce is whispered more often than marriage in this country, when television shows romanticize the notion of love and what it means in a marriage.

Sometimes we forget that we worked for this marriage before it was ever a marriage – we tiptoed up to love before it was an ingrained part of Jim&I. And I’m not proud to say that sometimes, when stress has seemed almost overwhelming, when we’ve struggled to understand each other, we’ve hurt more than we’ve loved.

Because when were first married, it was with starstruck eyes and that feeling of romantic and amazing ‘this is perfect’ kind of love – and no one bothered to tell us that kind of love isn’t what a marriage is built on. Oh, it can be started on it, founded on it, forged in it. But you don’t build a marriage brick by brick with that kind of love.

So that’s not how or why I still love him.

Love (and Marriage) Grows over Time

Instead, as we matured, we grew to love each other in a more mature way (but not always!). I love my husband because we are two parts of a whole.

There are times one or both of us forget that, when we hurt or are hurt by our lives or our actions, but I think you either grow closer together, stronger, after the challenges and triumphs of life, or sometimes you (and your marriage) falls apart.

While we have stumbled, Jim  and I overwhelmingly, desperately, unconditionally love each other.

When I drive him crazy because I talk to everyone … he still loves me. When he has a hard time verbalizing what he’s thinking or telling me things (hello aspergers my old friend, er, nemesis) … I still love him.

I can’t speak for him, but I can unequivocally say I love him more today than I did the day we married.

We wage a battle every day in a world out to convince us that a hard marriage isn’t worth being a marriage; we wage a battle every time one of us struggles to handle the day-to-day stresses of handling three boys who are autistic, epileptic, and 100% awesome; but never do we forget that there is love.

We fit together in ways I never could have imagined over 15 years ago, almost as if we are growing closer together as life weathers us.

And that is why I love him.

Overwhelmingly.

Desperately.

Unconditionally.

Because we fit together in a world where most things buckle and break.

Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.

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Katrina Moody

Katrina Moody

Graphic Designer, Wordpress Addict, Blogger at Kat's Media & More
I'm a special needs parent before just about everything else in life, but also a passionate advocate for my three boys and husband, who all have a bit of awesomeness about them. Awesomeness = Axenfeld-Rieger Syndrome, Autism, Epilepsy, Dyslexia, Cerebral Palsy, and more. It all adds up to some awesome kids and an amazing family.
Katrina Moody
Katrina Moody
  • dancristo

    Really loved these thoughts.

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Thanks so much @dancristo:disqus!

  • http://www.modernmarried.com/ Maggie Reyes

    What a touching reflection of life and love and all it’s challenges and beauty. I love the message *and* how it’s written, “but that’s not why I love him” kept me gripped! but why? Why? I want to know!
    Truly a beautiful post, thank you for sharing this deeply heartfelt love letter with all of us!

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Aw thanks so much @disqus_Ek8n2CLJaJ:disqus – (I had my guy read it before I posted it – I thought it was a way to tell him how much I love him as well.)

  • mail4rosey

    What a beautiful post. It really is easy to put our marriages second to other things, but we really, really shouldn’t.

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Thanks so much – I totally agree!

  • Stefanie Kring-Van Aken

    Love this. Thanks for the reminder.

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Thanks for commenting!

  • Joanna Sormunen

    This is such a beautiful post. An elegy to marriage. I hope you will always have love and find comfort and happiness in each other.

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Thank you! I can only pray that we’ll continue to grow in love with one another!

  • Dina Demarest

    beautifully said Katrina. My dh and I have been together 23 years and married 21. It’s not always easy but we always seem to find our way. We are friends first!

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Thank you Dina – I get frustrated with romanticized notions when people talk about marriage. Romance is important, but real love grows over time, matures, and of course always means being friends first!

  • Tiffany Steadman-Collins

    Such an amazing read mama. It truly warms my heart to read entries like this. Love at its finest

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Thanks so much Tiffany! I haven’t talked about my husband much here at the Cafe; I thought it was definitely time. :D

  • Angela

    Being married is definitely hard work, each and every day! Over time you realize that those tiny little things, quirks, personality, whatever you call them that you found slightly irritating when you were dating are the things that can drive you apart later if you let them! Who cares if he forgot the trash…again…you didn’t marry him to get your trash carried out did you?? :)

  • LaDonna Dennis

    What a beautiful love story. I love you and Jim and the boys.

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Aw thanks so much @ladonnadennis:disqus! Love you too my friend!

  • Diane Grubbs

    Love this! I love reading love stories

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      I have to admit – I kind of got a kick out of writing it too :D Thanks for your comment Diane!

  • Stefanie Kring-Van Aken

    Very sweet, and a great reminder of why I got married to my husband in the first place. Marriage is hard work- defintely no walk in the park- but the rewards are amazing.

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Spot on Stefanie! Thanks again!

  • Heather

    I absolutely love it. As a woman who desperately, unconditionally, and overwhelmingly loves my husband of 16+ years, I really enjoyed this. Thank you for such a beautiful and inspiring post.
    ~Heather

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Thanks so much Heather! Glad to see there are some other wives out there who treasure their men too! Thanks for commenting!

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

    LOVE this, Katrina! I’m doing my best to make my way through all the blog posts that joined the blog tour to say THANK YOU. But I also want to know if you’d consider allowing me to post this article on the home page of the Happy Wives Club? I’m choosing 5 or 6 from the blog tour to showcase on the home page. Are you open to that? Will you email me at fawn(at)happywivesclub(dot)com, if so?

    • http://katscafe.org Katrina Moody

      Fawn I would be honored, of course – thanks so much for stopping by and I’m so glad you liked the post! I’ll drop you an email shortly!

    • http://www.katscafe.org/ Katrina Moody

      Aw @HappyWivesClub:disqus – I would be honored for you to share it on your site! I’ll drop you an email shortly. Thanks so much for stopping by and so happy you liked the post!

  • http://www.nevadadivorce.org/ James Smith, Attorney

    That’s really sweet!

    James E. Smith