Why Resolutions Suck, and Why Giving Continues!

Resolutions Never Work, at Least not for Me – How about You?

Propose change this year instead of resolutionsI’ve spent the transition to and first few weeks of this New Year sick as can be and struggling to figure out how to stay caught up with personal and work commitments as well as blogging ones. And it got me to thinking … resolutions pretty much suck.

Why?

Because resolutions are our perfect dreams, arising out of a perfect reality – when in fact our reality is just that – real. It’s not always pretty, fair, or easy.

For the past few weeks, I was sick. Barely able to truly celebrate Christmas and the New Year with my family, falling behind in my own work commitments, unable to log in and keep up with posting at the Cafe.

Being sick sucks!

If I stuck with my original ideas about New Year’s resolutions I would be feeling even worse. Like most folks I wanted to work smarter, blog more, spend more time with family, be healthier … blah blah blah.

Which is why I say resolutions suck. They don’t make us consider our reality, where we get sick, where we have kids with special needs, where a kid might have a seizure at any moment, where life happens.

And we end up feeling like failures because we. Can’t. Keep. Up with life, much less those resolutions.

Resolutions Suck, but they are Still Useful!

New Year’s resolutions suck – I’ll shout that from the rooftops – but they are a useful measure of what you most want to change about yourself. And change – that’s entirely possible no matter how sick you get, how many breakthrough seizures you are dealing with, no matter what life throws at you.

So what were your resolutions? What are the things you are most wanting to change about yourself in 2013? And, here’s the real kicker … what are you going to do to make it happen?

Resolutions are a promise to yourself that you can break as soon as life throws reality in your face. But if you have made them, broken them, thought about them at all – then you have a better idea of what you most want to change about yourself.

And THAT is valuable. Because we all want to change something about ourselves. Resolutions are a great motivator to help us think about what we want to change (lose weight, give more, post more, etc) but they are usually very subjective things – and they don’t roll with reality as well as might want.

We get sick, or one of our amazing kids with awesomeness (ie special needs) has a problem or a breakthrough seizure … and suddenly we’re back to square one and upset because we broke our all-important resolution.

Let’s Create Change instead of Resolutions

Huh?

How about instead of making a resolution, so much, we take that idea and twist it around a bit. Instead of saying “I want to lose weight this year” or “I’m going to get in shape this year” how about we think about actual changes we can make?

So instead of “I want to lose weight” maybe we can say “I’m going to change the amount of fat I’m eating (or sugar … etc)”

Or, instead of “I’m going to get in shape this year” we can say “I’d like to be active 3x a week (or um, at all, if we’re not so active right now!)

Instead of generically saying we want to give more, blog more, do more, how about we give ourselves an actual goal, something we can actually change, that helps us track, measure, and realize that change?

To that end, I’d like to share a few of my own ideas for change this year …

  1.  I will change my activity level by striving to be active every day, and work up to working out (hah!) at least 3x per week this year.
  2. I will increase the numbers of fruits and vegetables I bring into the home and serve; and I will increase the numbers of organic products I serve, changing our eating habits in the process.
  3. I will change my frequency of posting at the Cafe, with regular posting days and extra posts for special campaigns.
  4. I will change how often I am online and *working* so that I can spend more time with my family, focusing for shorter periods of time on completing client work.
  5. I will continue the Giving campaign by changing it to an ongoing initiative at the Cafe to help special needs families (very excited about this – stay tuned for more details) and to share further important and related causes and campaigns.

What about you? Hate resolutions? Love ‘em? Tell me about them in the comments!

Katrina Moody

Katrina Moody

Graphic Designer, Wordpress Addict, Blogger at Kat's Media & More
I'm a special needs parent before just about everything else in life, but also a passionate advocate for my three boys and husband, who all have a bit of awesomeness about them. Awesomeness = Axenfeld-Rieger Syndrome, Autism, Epilepsy, Dyslexia, Cerebral Palsy, and more. It all adds up to some awesome kids and an amazing family.
Katrina Moody
Katrina Moody
Katrina Moody

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  • http://sharonthemoments.com Sharon Graham

    I so totally agree with you Katrina!! I have always disliked the word diet. Rather I am all about making lifestyle changes nowing that life is still in charge! I make more of an effort to increase fruits and vegtables (I grab the apple instead of the roll) and decrease the sugars ( I skip the sugar in the tea). Most of all, I forgive myself for not being perfect! I always forgive my kiddo so I should forgive myself, right?

    I am sure you will be able to stay the course with your mind set. keep us posted!

    ~Sharon @Sharon the Moments

    • http://katscafe.org Katrina Moody

      Thanks for the great encouragement Sharon! I’m like you, it seems, relatively easy-going and positive in dealing with the changes I want to make in my life — I am not perfect but I like the idea of forgiving myself for those little not-so-perfect moments as well. :-)

      Thanks so much!

  • http://www.whatlittlethings.com Samantha Bangayan

    Well said, Kat! You’ve really changed my perception on this all. I know how many times I’ve felt like a failure when life happens, but I hadn’t thought about how I’m already at an advantage for conceptualizing and trying. That’s so encouraging! =) Thanks for always bringing positivity into my life! =)

    • http://katscafe.org Katrina Moody

      Aw Samantha – so great to hear from you again! Thanks! I just, after spending almost a whole month sick, had a really difficult time worrying as much about resolutions even though I knew there were things I wanted to change. I can’t imagine others didn’t feel the same – so I’m glad to hear from you!

      So what kinds of things are you wanting to change this year? ;-)

  • http://www.aspieside.wordpress.com Neo Aspieside

    Very well said. I don’t make resolutions but I do make decisions for change. And I am still working on changing. It is a process & it certainly shouldn’t only happen on January 1 :-)

  • http://www.seoagencysydney.com.au/ Purnima

    Impelling share Katrina.
    Could not agree more . I too have end up making vague resolutions many a times which are broken without realization . Creating changes is more realistic and motivating .

  • http://www.botraiders.com Mélanie

    Nicely said!
    It seems like I am just like you in a way! I too can’t talk about “diet” but more about “losing weight” by eat less junk food and other crap!
    For the past 5 years, my new-year resolutions haven’t changed a bit! (too categorical).
    BUT in a way, I act more and more to make changes in my life (smoke less, eat better food and do (some^^) sport!
    Thank you for your post and keep up the good work!! :)
    I will come back on your blog ones in a while so read more from you!
    Best regards,
    Mélanie F.

  • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn Weaver

    Well said and well done, Katrina! It is always best to be more practical about our ‘resolutions’ and work towards the change we desire in ourselves. Wish you luck with your goals this year and I’m sure you’ll achieve it with this positive outlook.